Monthly Archives: March 2012

How to Dissolve Stress in 3 Minutes

By Duane Krip

Wonder if there was no such thing as a stressful situation? Would you feel stressed? The logical answer is no. Situations, as such, have no inherent meaning. Thus, meaningless events can’t make us feel stress!

I propose that, what we feel as stress is nothing more than a meaning we give to a situation or an event, not the even it self. Change the meaning and the stress disappears!

The way to look at it is to view that meaning as an ‘occurring’. An occurring is how life appears to you in any given moment; the unconscious, automatic meaning you give reality as you perceive it.

There is reality and then there is how you perceive it. Reality is what you see and hear NOW but how you perceive it can paint a whole different distorted picture.

As an example: Your company sends you a plane ticket summoning you to a meeting tomorrow inWinnipeg. The only information given are instructions go to a specified hotel near the airport for the meeting. You fly in at 10am. The meeting is at 11am and you fly home on the next flight out. Panic ensues as your mind races toward every negative possible reason and outcome. You see yourself unemployed tomorrow at this time. Tightness grips your chest and a sick feeling settles into your stomach as you wonder why this is happening to you. Continue reading

Drowners, Drifters, Surfers and Navigators…

Whether in career or life, when you gather a group of people together they will fall into one of four “life’s places”. Look any office environment, family unit or social group and you’ll find the members of that group will fall into one of four places; Drowners, Drifters, Surfers or Navigators. Try this exercise for yourself. On a piece of paper, write down the names of people (including yourself) who you share a common link with. (ie. your office, family or social group) Then read the following definitions and assign their “life’s place” beside each of the names that resonate best with the descriptor.

Drowners

  • On the ocean of life drowners are in lost at sea and sinking!
  • They define themselves by their limiting factors.
  • Their speech contains a never ending list of excuses: not enough money, education, geographical barriers or relationship opportunities etc, etc
  • Often sad and mournful, they see themselves as perpetual victims, one of the walking wounded in an army that never heals.
  • They struggle to get ahead and feel they just can’t ever get a break.
  • They’re treading water and it’s only a matter of time before they go under.

Drifters

  • On the ocean of life drifters define themselves by their circumstances.
  • Their speech contains an endless dialogue blaming external circumstances such as the state of the economy/industry, corporate management issues/ policies, their current relationship etc, etc.
  • They are pushed here and there by the winds and waves of chance.
  • In career, positions come and they go. They may drift into a position and just as a wave of success is about to elevate them to the next level they get sideswiped by life and thrown off course.
  • Drifters are adversely affected by changes in management, organizational structure and economic circumstances.

Surfers

  • On the ocean of life Surfers define themselves by their activities.
  • Their speech contains is a non stop dialogue about everything they have on the go. They keep busy being busy in work and at home.
  • They may serve on multiple committees, volunteer boards and organizations.
  • They are a networkers and professional visitors.
  • Riding the swells this way and that, they dream of the perfect wave.
  • Unfortunately all they ever do is dream. They are too busy to take action.
  • They may often relationship or job hop.
  • They tend to get bored easily thus as they move they maintain a constant lateral course.

Navigators

  • Navigators sail happily on the ocean of life and define themselves by their commitments.
  • When a navigator speaks you get a clear picture of their direction.
  • They know exactly what they’re trying to make happen and they’re willing to pay the price.
  • They are aware of their limiting factors and are zealous about clearing all obstacles that stand in their way especially when it is they.
  • Their ego is in check and they are humble to the idea that improvement starts with them.

Looking at your list of names, zero in on your name.

Yes, being the Navigator of your life should be your goal. Which “place” do you identify with?

I offer this viewpoint because it is important to pause in our busy lives to get perspective of ourselves, our lives and those around us. Whether we are Drowning, Drifting, Surfing or Navigating it is from this perspective that the true reality of our life will emerge. It is from this point that magical things will start to happen as we are able to begin to consciously make choices in our day to day life that will propel us forward.

Unworthiness: The Root of Disempowerment

By Duane Krip

Like a necklace of lead, conspiring to keep us weighted, shackled and tethered, feelings of unworthiness are the root of the darkness in our life. I now believe that unworthiness is at the core of most everything negative in both our careers and life! Having worked with people from across North America, from all walks of life, young and old, unworthiness keeps showing up in session after session I conduct.

Installed in us at such a young age, buried deep; we only see the surface behaviors in our day to day life.

I have to admit I had to ‘stare into the mouth of the lion’ when beliefs of my own unworthiness bubbled to the surface. I am happy to report I survived!

As I analyzed unworthiness, I noticed this disempowering belief was manifesting its self in behaviors found in 9 personality types. As you read these nine, think of all the time and energy each of these behaviors steal from our productivity and from our enjoyment of your life! Continue reading

The Truth about Criticism

By Duane Krip

Criticism in all its forms is like acid, raining down from the sky, burning through our outer skin burrowing and corroding its way to the very core of our being…it weakens our foundation, leaving us susceptible to complete collapse…

…but it doesn’t have to!

You can look at criticism as either flowing toward you or from you.

It is the basis of office politics where the maneuvering and jockeying resemble an episode of Survivor. Whether criticism is overly direct, subtle “ha-ha” comments…or in the form of office gossip, it is disruptive in so many ways in all organizations.

I recall one instance when a staff member went on a 15 minute rant around the office about my leather watch strap…vociferously proclaiming how “out of style” leather watch straps are.

Here’s the paradoxical truth about criticism.

When criticism flows toward you it’s not about you! It is a mirrored reflection of the internal turmoil of the criticizer. And when criticism rolls off your tongue directed at someone else, it’s a mirrored reflection of you…and your internal turmoil NOT the person you are criticizing!

When you look at the criticism of my leather watch strap from this perspective you can easily see that the critique was a commentary of that persons own insecurities. You can’t help but have empathy for them.

In The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz he states it beautifully when he says:

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.

If someone gives you an opinion and says, “Hey, you look so fat,” don’t take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs, and opinions. That person tried to send poison to you and if you take it personally, then you take that poison and it becomes yours.

I hope a light bulb of truth within you just flicked on because the implications of this on both your career and personal life are enormous! Consider the drain on your energy…the lost productivity…the derailment of focus when you allow someone else’s opinions or actions to tear at your foundation…or conversely, when you yourself engage in outward directed criticism of others.

Today, as you encounter criticism, whatever form that may be, try making a clear distinction between what people say and the meaning you give it. Flip it around so you see their words or actions as a reflection of their own internal strife.

When you do this, how does this new perspective change how you feel? Let me know. Leave a comment below.

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